Joy IS Life

Rather, the law of the Lord is his joy;

and on his law he meditates day and night.

He is like a tree 

planted near streams of water,

It’s leaves never wither, whatever he does prospers.  – Psalm 1:2-3

Anything is possible with God. Anything.

What do you look for when you need a boost? Coffee? Exercise? Sugar? Alone time? Time with friends? Prayer?

For my almost entire life pre-DNRS I always needed something – more coffee, more exercise, more control, more people to like me… you know, the common list. Then I reached a beautiful point where I couldn’t have most of those things anymore. I lost that illusion of control. A mysterious illness had taken over my body and mind and my life did not seem like it was mine anymore. My hour long daily walks that had been my one source of sanity were gone, by ability to be productive and feel good about that was gone, expecting anyone to like me seemed ridiculous. 

Then I began DNRS – explicit permission, nay, encouragement- a COMMAND, even, to pursue feelings of joy, love, gratitude to infinity and beyond. So I did. And I found that while  my circumstances had not changed (except in the ways I was actively changing them through my DNRS practice) I felt completely satisfied. In the past, I would get in a tiffy if I didn’t get my full 3 mile walk. Now here I was walking a mile or two a day and feeling completely satisfied with every moment of the day. 

It was the joy, I realized, that I had been craving all along! I just needed love! My whole life had been a big long search for love. In biological terms, love is spelled D-O-S-E – dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin, and endorphins. I had always found love in movement, nature, and music, and in my connection to the Divine, yet the weeds of untrue beliefs choked out the love for long stretches of life. I sought the stuff, not the Kingdom. But now, with permission granted to ditch all that and take up joy as my everything, I found myself more productive, more calm, more loving, more capable and at peace than ever before. Scripture started making sense, songs and hymns started making sense (I need you Lord, every hour I need you – yes! I get it now! This joy I receive as the most marvelous gift in every moment is like the breathe in my lungs), the whole world started looking the sparkling, glorious, magnificent creation God made it to be. All of my previous crutches become bonuses, extras. Seek first the Kingdom of God and everything else will be granted to you as well.

Other things changed. I stopped picking the skin off my fingers, stopped needing caffeine to be okay, my body image issues and relationship with food are about 90% healed, I started seeing men as humans (with their own unique contributions to the human race! Humans who need love just like me!) instead of monsters, I stopped making decisions from fear and doubt and started making them from love and wisdom, I stopped being afraid that all my “issues” were messing up my kids- now I can help them, and now I trust God to heal that which I cannot reach within them.

I read somewhere recently that a recovered alcoholic MUST be a deeply spiritual person else they fall back to their old ways. I agree. In recovering from this brain impairment I must cling to Joy, seek out God and his light in every moment to stay riding these new highways of joy and abundance that I’ve built into my psyche. I trust that one day it will become second nature, but there is no way to know when that will happen, and regardless, in life we always have choices. I choose joy.

There is too, one other absolutely beautiful side effect of seeing the fruit of joy in my life. I stopped being afraid of people who don’t share my faith. Now whenever I encounter someone who shows evidence of God’s life within them, of joy, self control, peace, generosity, love, wisdom, and gratitude, I draw closer to see – what do you know? What can I learn from you about God, about life? Can we be friends? Whether or not we share religious beliefs, if we share the essence of God’s life there is hope for a mutually beneficial friendship where we can learn, live, laugh, and love, and respect the differences, being curious without fear, knowing that we are each faithful to both our religious beliefs and the principles that flow from them – faithfulness and unconditional love. We can learn to be like a God who loves all His children equally and invites us all to truth and joy with open arms. 

Everything men seek can be found in just one rose or a drink of water. – The Little Prince