Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the Kingdom of Heaven. – Matthew 18:3
This is a common verse, perhaps even a common topic of discussion in church circles (and by discussion I mean homily material or book material, not everyday conversation). My lived experience of it is far, far different and more profound than anything I’ve heard on the topic.
I’m standing on the stairs from the basement and quite frankly I can’t remember why I’m here because my youngest is pulling my arm hard with a commanding, “Come WITH me, Mommy!” as he drags me up the stairs so I can do whatever it is he wants. This particular occasion strikes me – he is absolutely certain that I am going to do what he asks. 100%.
It’s a different day and his twin sister places herself directly in front of me, holds up her arms with a smile and says, “Hold me up, Mommy!” Of course, darling! And I twirl her in a circle, landing her firmly in my arms.
It’s pretty easy to see what these sweet humans believe about themselves and the authority figures in front of them. Without a single thought or analysis, they know I am worthy of receiving what I am asking for, I am loved and my parent will give me all the love I ask for, getting my needs met is really, really important, and I can count on my parent to meet them.
Could you? Could you believe that nothing has changed about the essence of who you are as a human being since YOU were that precious toddler? You and your needs and desires still matter just as much now as they did then. And God still wants to give them to you just as much, no, much, much more than you want good things for your children.
But those don’t sound anything the beliefs many adults I see hold about themselves and God. Most adults exhibit behaviors that suggest the exact opposite beliefs- my needs don’t matter (until I can’t take the emptiness anymore and drown my pain some addictive substance or activity), God won’t be there to catch me if rely on Him, I’m not worthy of good things, and my being full of happiness, joy, and love isn’t important- look at all the work that needs doing! All the important world events that I am morally obliged to be aware of so I can argue with people I don’t know about them or just stress myself out about them in my head! Yeah, that’s the *important* stuff.
And while so many of us precious humans have our heads stuck in the sand of “distrust of all things good”, God is still holding out His hand, smiling at our silly self importance, inviting us to take off the monkey suit and be children again. We already are important, we don’t have to try!
There is, truly, a real vulnerability in being like a child. Everything is a (possible) game them, every object exists only for the delight it can provide – true delight that lights up the eyes, soul and body and has zero regard for the ego. Children don’t factor in what people might think of them before they start a game of their own device. I was walking with my 2 older daughters yesterday (7 and almost 9) and they were absolutely tickled pink to be able to run through the crunchy snow that is still lining the streets of our neighborhood. To a child, a special rock or flower (or snow) is a sacred treasure, to an adult, a something to be disposed of, a nuisance, or even, a danger. But which one is the the true perspective? Is this natural world with were given just a dirty, dangerous nuisance or is it a sacred treasure to explored and enjoyed?
I personally used to think asking God for something and fully believing, fully expecting it to show up in my life was…ridiculous. Scary, even, I mean, I am relying on something invisible to give me the things I most desperately need?!
Then came the point where blind trust in what I couldn’t see was the only way to move forward. If I don’t trust absolutely and completely, I can’t live. It’s taking months for this way of being to become natural, to stop thinking about anything that isn’t happening *right now*. But as I live this way it becomes clear that this present moment is really the only reality there is. Anything else is just something we made up in our heads – reliving the past, trying to prelive the future, or going in circles in our heads about something that we can’t do anything about right now. Through my recovery experience I’ve learned that the only way to fix those pressing issues (the health problem, relationship problem, money problem, housing problem, kid problem, job problem, you get the picture), was to stop thinking about it completely and do something. Live. Joyfully.
Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin: yet I say unto you, that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. Matthew 6:28-29
Ask, and it will be given to you, seek and you shall find, knock and it will be opened to you. Matthew 7:7
I can just see your eyes glazing over, you’ve heard it SO. MANY. TIMES. The chorus of “yeah, but…”s into back of your mind reminiscent of the seagulls in Finding Nemo. But, what if?
What if for one day, one week, one month, we could stay in this moment, actually doing what we’re doing and trusting God to take care of all the things our sweet brains, helpful a lá 2 year old, bring up throughout the day? And with all the needs that spring from the depths of our being? What might our lives look like at the end of that time? How much peace, productivity, love, and joy might we experience as a result? Better relationships? Better job performance? A cleaner house? More confidence? A better self image? A better relationship with the Divine?
In Truth, all we have is today. We will all pass from this life one day, never to have a chance to live this moment again. Right now is, literally, all we’ve got. One thing I am absolutely certain of for myself, I want to experience each moment of my life to fullest degree I possible can. Presence heals. God can care for the future, for the healing of the past by our reliance on Him in this moment. He is trustworthy.
The amazing thing is that when we focus only on this moment, being present and our best self now, our souls can breathe, our minds grow calm, and our bodies follow. Blood pressure lowers, heart rate slows. We begin to sleep better as our brains learn that it’s okay to do nothing, or rest, to be quiet. We can work better, love better, play with our kids better, when this moment is only one that exists for us. And that list of problems up above? They begin to disappear. When we show up in our lives, it heals them.
The Eye of the Needle 