Author: mlfc15

I wrote this poem to myself on one particularly difficult night. Sometimes we have to remind ourselves of how strong and beautiful we are, that we are on our own side and worth every bit of labor it takes to give birth to our true selves ❤️

Hey there beautiful soul

You, my love 

You are my hero

This beautiful, wild, naked face I see in the mirror 

Your strong, feminine body

Bears the signs of a warrior 

You have lived

Created life 

Been emptied of it

And through years of famine

Your soul burned through 

You never gave up on you

I see courage and fearlessness written all over your body and soul

I see hope in your scars

You’ve risked it all

For Love

Real love

Not the mushy kind

The kind that builds kingdoms

People

Worlds 

The kind that brings Heaven to earth

In little, hidden ways

The kind that literally moves mountains 

Makes miracles

You are strong enough to yield

Powerful enough to be vulnerable 

And yet to stand alone

A joyful child, full of expectation 

Heavily seasoned with wisdom from another world 

You

Have learned from the whisper of the aspen

The majesty of mountains 

The cosmic bliss of the oceans

The sweet seduction of the violin 

The heavenly odor of a Colorado afternoon in July

That pure scent of evergreen and sunshine swept, swirling, off the foothills 

The heavy sweetness and tingle of rainy night dew on bare skin 

You’ve peered into the souls

Of people you love

And seen the landscapes God called forth within them

You have held and carried more weight of glory

Than most who’ve walked this place

You

Made your own way

Built your own door

Became your own fortress 

Wherein Love (God) can dwell

You are a universe of delight 

Summer in full bloom 

Dripping with honey

Wildflowers and secret doorways around every corner

A desert rose

You go on forever

An eternal love song is what you are

Go on

And sing

Joy pours down like an avalanche upon me

My head tips back and it all floods out of my mouth

Flying back into the heavens from whence it came 

Absolutely IMPOSSIBLE to contain

And why on earth would I?!

Life is so GLORIOUS!

EXUBERANT!

Outrageously and beautifully ABUNDANT!

Oh the mischievous glance of friend

The instant before the punch line hits

Just enough time for that sublime gurgle of anticipation to arise

Mirth exploding out of me

Lighting up my body like a firework 

That moment 

When one finds a child

Face blotched with marker

Tipped head first into a laundry basket, legs flailing

Precocious words escaping their mouths

Barely time to register before the eruption occurs

You stop time on purpose 

To receive the wonderful slap of surprise 

To commit the delightful shock to memory

“I might need this someday…”

And sometimes 

When life feels sticky and serious

God sends a fairy

Flitting glibly through my mind

And I double over, face in hands

And remember, that all the magic the entire world could ever need

Is contained in one bright orange flower

Yet there galaxies spinning endlessly into the night 

Porcupines and ostriches and blowfish

Kangaroos and penguins and rainbow colored mountains 

That all of this and more lives within ME

And the laughter of joyful victory washes every cell of me clean

For tomorrow 

The sun and I

Will

RISE

• 

• 

And if you want an extra treat along the lines of this wonder…

He speaks His love to me 

In red blooms held high

Cherub cheeks

And chocolate eyes

Pure magic speaking in oak hues

Forest greens float in grey twilight

Lit by light of wildflowers 

Tonight

Hungry vines are dancing across these living walls

Up lampposts, orange bursts singing lively throughout 

The violin is playing on my heart strings

Ocean tides ebb and flow within me

Peace is gliding through these days like liquid diamonds

Filling the air with palpable realness, joy like water, washing every scene ‘til it glows

Filling my body with strength and spaciousness, power and levity

I spin, skip, twirl

Dancing with the evergreens and the overgrown bushes 

That, august and profuse, spill into my path

Their outstretched hands await my curtsies and and caresses

Then –

I see her

This tree spirit – she emerges, and teaches me

How to worship God

“Like this!” She sings, creating enchantment in her shadows

Glory in her wings

Steadfast yet bubbling with laughter

Mirthful and mysterious she plays

We gaze together at our Beloved

Praising Him for the love that flows, warm sap through our veins

Our hands raised to the Heavens

Our bodies shimmying in the wind, trembling with the Love our hearts cannot contain

Wild and tangled and thrumming we fly

And this river of rapture

Pours me into the boisterous seas

Of Life

These are the before and after poems from a long hike with a friend that began on the continental divide. The first one was written at 4:15 am in my car before the hike, and the second after processing the events of the day.

Stars 

Lightening

Stark, tall trees all along

Gray peaks, black sky

Ribbon road

Joyful soul 

Alone

But not really

God

By my side

Stirring ribbons of love in my belly 

Adventure beckons

Time (col)lapses

Eternity ensues

The wild is my safe place 

The mountain tops are my home

Here where air is thin 

Is where my soul breathes 

Gulping enough real

To last till I come up for air 

Again

These rocks

Are teaching this fire to burn slow

Providing texture and direction for my flow

I come here 

To learn

To know

Be known

Healed

Wholed 

To restore the knowing I carried across the divide

I am born here

A woman

Wild

Fierce 

Free 

The only thing this body needs 

Is a galaxy 

Spinning

Burning 

Creating

Imploding

Expanding and contracting 

Breathe

Deep

Surging

Plates shifting 

Earth sighing

Majesty unfolding

Daring

Trusting

Leaping

Soaring

Wild

Yet inviting 

Independent 

And engaging 

I feel stretched, my heart trying to hear the shape this full empty makes

I rest between two mountains

My body against one, my soul within another

I lay in the valley 

Held

Cradled

The rocks and gravel and wind are soft

Awe is the only thing I can see from here

You aren’t beautiful, you say 

I understand 

But you take my breath away

Longing is unearthed

To somehow be the way 

To bring this glory to light

How do I convey?

What it feels like to be trusted

To trust

It’s magic

It makes us bigger

Could I ever give enough gratitude?

For the gifts I received…just today?

Just this one day?

Every moment is sheer miracle

I wish I could paint

All the canvases in the world

With these visions

Pulsing my eyes to brimming

So I could perceive with a different gaze 

And absorb you all over

Trickling into every pore

This is what I’m hungry for

God is teaching me

What it is to fall

Upward

Inward

In love

What Love is 

What my heart is for

Never before have I loved so much

And yet cared so little

“Please…just let this Beloved, Be loved, by You”

This is my one request 

My heart’s one plea

Love

Is 

Free

I am posting this for those who read my blog – I started a YouTube channel (under my name) to go deeper into some concepts I’ve learned and used in my recovery and are helpful for anyone seeking to understand the human person and desire to thrive in life. Check it out!

I am burning

Consumed 

By love

I always knew I yearned for fire

I always knew I was made for God Himself

but now

I feel Him

I spoke it

On my lips and in my soul

I am yours

Do with me what You will

And things began to happen

Things my mind will never comprehend

Things my soul 

Felt were a coming home

Home

To the only place that suits me

Where every person, flower, tree, ray of sun

Every voice

Every glance

Every desire and movement rising from the deep

Comes together

I understand now

I get it

This language

The Word speaks in every atom that is

I can hear Him

I join Him

In speaking this language

In the never ending, ravishing song of creation

Peace overtakes me

Certainty besets my soul

Fire births me

Like a child

Soft, strong, limitless, pure, captivating 

Will you join me?

Let me show you a secret

Soft as a butterfly whispering in your ear

“There are no walls

All that is not Love is an illusion 

There is no thing but atmosphere between us

You are infinitely free”

Take my hand

Let’s fly Home

On the wings of flame

I didn’t come here

To make you comfortable 

To do the expected 

Color inside the lines

Play by the rulebook

I came here 

To break reality for you

To make your head spin

To confuse you

Upset you

Not you

Your ego

I came here

To make you question 

Which way is up

To shatter your normal

Into a billion shards

Love doesn’t follow rules

It creates them

But

If you are kneeling 

Hungry 

Dying of thirst

Desperate for light

Seeking direction

I am shelter

I am warmth

I am food

I am love

So come

Bask in my radiance

Dance with me

And I will show you 

The doorway

To He

Who will quench

Your flames

Love is the only boundary

Strong as death and soft as air

It protects

It guards

Innocence, Truth, Beauty

Love is the almighty river 

The unstoppable cleanser

Smoothing away

The pain that whispers into the darkness

The reek of shame

The lies that branded your soul

Love builds

The pieces of you you never knew were missing

Cathedrals, families, friendships

Lighthouses for the lost

Love gives sight to blinded souls

Life to the waking dead

Legs to those who have forgotten how to dance

Love teaches

The only knowledge necessary 

We are whole

Just as we are

Already love-able

Strong enough

Enough

Teaches us

How to rest, contemplate, create, LAUGH!

Love heals

The betrayed, belittled, abused and forgotten

Re-membering us into glory

Love burns as an infinite sun

And within its flames is the only place 

You are safe from being consumed

Softness is the only strength

Gentleness the only might

Beauty is the only rest

Obedience the sole rebellion

Humility, breath itself

But love

Is the gate

So if you wish

If you please

Lift the latch

And see what lies 

Within

Think for moment of some of the most powerful people you know. Whether they be people of talent, intelligence, skill, discipline, perseverance, or beauty, famous or not famous. Got an image? Good. Now know this : you are just as powerful as they are.

We know this. Most of us just forget about it because we don’t believe in ourselves or that we deserve to be that amazing. It has little to do with laziness, I promise. Perhaps a few people are mediocre from laziness but I assure you that for each one of those there are millions more who just don’t believe the right things.

There’s one more thing: do you trust yourself, or fear yourself? This is what I want to focus on today.

Trusting yourself is a radical act. Obeying the voice of God in your own soul in each moment of life is both the supreme act of obedience and rebellion. Actually believing that God made only 10s and that His redeeming grace is available in every nanosecond of existence isn’t exactly commonplace.

 But why do we fear ourselves, and especially our power? 

One of the biggest, if not the biggest source of power God built into us is the sacral chakra. This holds the power of creativity and sexuality. Most people either don’t believe they have this power, or they know about it and follow the ego’s whims in their execution of it. They are the power hungry, the bad guys, the sex symbols and on a smaller scale, that “bad boy/girl” stereotype that is mysteriously attractive even when we know how destructive it can be to get close to them. Ahhhh, there it is. That which holds the power to create can also destroy if used wrongly. Hello dictators, genocide and broken families (or just broken hearts, eh?). From this standpoint we can see why so many people cut themselves off from their power, why so many are silent and stifled in their own lives.

Being a Christian and believer in the endless power of unconditional love to point us towards what it is humans are made to be, I set out to find out how to own my power and use it for good. 

What I have discovered so far has been earth shifting. There are these things called boundaries and they are AMAZING.When you know what you stand for, when you listen to yourself and God’s voice within and know your purpose, and trust it no matter how absurd it may seem, miracles occur.

When you are willing and eager to do the work, the work of believing in yourself, believing in your purpose, believing in God’s ability to work through you, and that you deserve (yes you heard that right) to live in your potential instead of your comfort zone – your very presence can change the world.

When you build walls of love and trust, that creative power and even the sexual energy can be expressed in appropriate, life building ways (remember that everything exists on the spiritual plane before the physical) that leave you feeling fulfilled, whole, and the people around you loved and honored. When we embrace our power we stop fighting with ourselves, stop fearing ourselves and have infinitely more to offer the world.

This is really just dipping our toes in the ocean of possibility here, but this is going to be a decent portion of what I talk about (and explain how to do) in the book I’m working on. Why? Because I believe it’s the key to healing the world. If hurt people hurt people, it is equally true that whole people heal people – just by their presence. The more powerful, whole, present and loving people we have in this world the better it is. I am here to lead the way, by example first.

Beauty resounds

Like a gong

An earthquake

An explosion

No thing is left unturned 

Soil loosened

Certainty lost

Restlessness ensues

Confusion 

Why? Why won’t the longing for beauty leave me?

An enticing glance

Eyes dancing towards me

Only to disappear behind a curtain

Laughing

At its own game 

Leaving the seeker 

Bewildered 

Hungry

For more

Where are you going?!

How do you escape my grasp?

A sly smile

“Take my hand.”

Behind the curtain we slip 

Mouth gaping

Eyes flowing

Spirit and body seized 

By fire

This

This is what I come for

This is why I am here

To set the world ablaze 

Consumed

By

Beauty